What is Willpower? The unwavering strength of will to carry out one’s wishes.

But psychologists characterize willpower,or self-control, in more specific ways. According to most psychological scientists, willpower can be defined as: The ability to delay gratification, resisting short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.

Whether your goal is to lose weight, kick a smoking habit, study more, or spend less time on Facebook, willpower is a critical step to achieving that outcome. At its essence, willpower is the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals. And there are good reasons to do so.

What part of the brain controls willpower?

  

That section of the brain right behind your forehead is the part that helps us with things like decision-making and regulating our behavior. Self-control, or willpower, falls under this heading, and thus is taken care of in this part of the brain.

There are things you can do to learn self-discipline and gain the willpower to live a happier life. If you are looking to take control of your habits and choices, here are the most powerful things you can do to master self-discipline.

1. Recognize your weaknesses.

We all have weaknesses. Whether they’re snacks like potato chips or chocolate chip cookies, or technology like Facebook or the latest addictive game app, they have similar effects on us.

Acknowledge your shortcomings, whatever they may be. Too often people either try to pretend their vulnerabilities don’t exist or cover up any pitfalls in their lives. Own up to your flaws. You can’t overcome them until you do.

2. Eradicate temptations.

Like the saying goes, “out of sight, out of mind.” It may seem silly, but this phrase offers powerful advice. By simply removing your biggest temptations from your environment, you will greatly improve your self-discipline.

If you want to eat healthier, toss the junk food in the trash. If you want to improve your productivity at work, turn off social media notifications and silence your cell phone. The fewer distractions you have, the more focused you will be on accomplishing your goals. Set yourself up for success by ditching bad influences.

3. Set clear goals and have an execution plan.

If you hope to achieve self-discipline, you must have a clear vision of what you hope to accomplish. You must also have an understanding of what success means to you. After all, if you don’t know where you are going, it’s easy to lose your way or get unfocused.

A clear plan outlines each step you must take in order to reach your goals. Figure out who you are and what you are about. Create a mantra to keep yourself focused. Successful people use this technique to stay on track and establish a clear finish line.

4. Build your self-discipline.

We aren’t born with self-discipline--it’s a learned behavior. And just like any other skill you want to master, it requires daily practice and repetition. Just like going to the gym, willpower and self-discipline take a lot of work. The effort and focus that self-discipline requires can be demanding.

As time passes, it can become more and more difficult to keep your willpower in check. The bigger the temptation or decision, the more challenging it can feel to tackle other tasks that also require self-control. So work on building your self-discipline through daily diligence.

5. Generate new habits by keeping it simple.

Acquiring self-discipline and working to implant a new habit can feel daunting at first, especially if you focus on the entire task at hand. To avoid feeling intimidated, keep it simple. Break your goal into small, doable steps. Instead of trying to change everything at once, focus on doing one thing consistently and master self-discipline with that goal in mind.

If you’re trying to get in shape, start by working out 10 or 15 minutes a day. If you’re trying to achieve better sleep habits, start by going to bed 15 minutes earlier each night. If you want to eat healthier, start by prepping a bag lunch the night before to take with you in the morning. Take baby steps. Eventually, when you’re ready, you can add more goals to your list.

6. Eat often and healthy.

The feeling of being hungry--that angry, annoyed, irritated sensation you get when you’re hungry—is real and can have a considerable impact on willpower. Research has proven that low blood sugar often weakens a person’s resolve, making you grumpy and pessimistic.

When you’re hungry, your ability to concentrate suffers and your brain doesn’t function as well. Your self-control is likely weakened in all areas, including diet, exercise, work and relationships. So fuel up with healthy snacks and regular meals to keep yourself in check.

7. Change your perception about willpower.

According to a study by Stanford University, the amount of willpower a person has is predetermined by their beliefs. If you believe you have a limited amount of willpower, you probably won’t surpass those limits. If you don’t place a limit on your self-control, you are less likely to exhaust yourself before meeting your goals.

In short, it may be that our internal conceptions about willpower and self-control determine how much of them we have. If you can remove these subconscious obstacles and truly believe you can do it, then you will give yourself an extra boost of motivation toward making those goals a reality.

8. Give yourself a backup plan.

Psychologists use a technique to boost willpower called “implementation intention.” That’s when you give yourself a plan to deal with a potentially difficult situation you know you will likely face. For instance, imagine that you’re working on eating healthier, but you’re on your way to a party where food will be served.

Before you go, tell yourself that instead of diving into a plate of cheese and crackers, you will sip a glass of water and focus on mingling. Going in with a plan will help give you the mindset and the self-control necessary for the situation. You will also save energy by not having to make a sudden decision based on your emotional state.

9. Reward yourself.

Give yourself something to be excited about by planning a reward when you accomplish your goals. Just like when you were a little kid and got a treat for good behavior, having something to look forward to gives you the motivation to succeed.

Anticipation is powerful. It gives you something to obsess over and focus on, so you’re not only thinking of what you are trying to change. And when you achieve your goal, find a new goal and a new reward to keep yourself moving forward.

10. Pardon yourself and move forward.

Even with all of our best intentions and well-laid plans, we sometimes fall short. It happens. You will have ups and downs, great successes and dismal failures. The key is to keep moving forward.

If you stumble, acknowledge what caused it and move on. Don’t let yourself get wrapped up in guilt, anger or frustration, because these emotions will only drag you further down and impede future progress. Learn from your missteps and forgive yourself. Then get your head back in the game and refocus on your goals.

What is the importance of eye contact?

Keeping eye contact with the person you are talking to indicates interest and saying to the person “You are important and I am listening”. It is one of the “unseen” tools/ a very strong nonverbal communication tool used in any message or communication.

The old saying that “eyes are a reflection of your inner self” holds true in most cases. There are a lot of meanings to eye contact. It can be a glaring look when a person is defiant or angry.

A stare when we see something unusual about the person (staring obtrusively is rude).

 A glazed over look when we are hopelessly in love with the person. It can also be a direct look when we are talking and trying to make a point.

What our eyes mean in communication:   

In all instances we use our eyes as a level of communication with the other person. We also avoid a direct look from another person if we have something to hide.

Also sometimes a person feels uncomfortable looking another person in the eye due to shyness. This trait is also present with other signs of shyness such as a slight stammer and sometimes blushing. Otherwise it could just be that the person has a short attention span for anything you have to say.

Eye contact in events:

Our eyes also reflect our sincerity, integrity and comfort when communicating with another person. Which is why having good eye contact while conversing is the indication that the communication has gone on well. How is eye contact related to events? Well, events are a form and means of communication, be it to send out a message, to educate or even to introduce. A good event management company will realize that eye contact during communication and speech are important.

Eyes and the body language

Eye contact is a form of body language which is important during communication. How we present ourselves and communicate with others aside from talking is by our body language. Our body language speaks more than words which then logically accounts for a bigger percentage of our communication skills. Therefore our eyes speak volumes about us and how we communicate.

Some points to remember while communicating and why eye contact is important are:

·         Surprise!

·         Eye contact is a sign that you happen to be a good listener! Now what has the eye got to do with listening? When you keep eye contact with the person you are talking to it indicates that you are focused and paying attention. It means that you are actually listening to what the person has to say. That is where the saying “Don’t just listen with your ears” comes from. So “listen” more than talk, everyone loves a good listener especially the opposite gender!

·         Your eyes are a way of building a connection with the other person. This could mean you like that person. You feel comfortable talking and communicating with the person or you just are plain falling in love with the person! Either way, the eyes say it all.

·         Avoiding eye contact could also mean that you do not want the person you are speaking with to know too much. It could be that you may not like the person. You do not want the person to know you like them or you do not feel comfortable with that person. These are the negative impacts of avoiding eye contact. Sometimes the other person might read it wrongly and therefore produce a negative feeling towards you as well.

·         A big part of eye contact is building trust. A person with whom you are talking to will be more likely to trust and respect you as eye contact indicates an openness in communication. It also tells the other person “Hey, I am confident and self-assured, you can trust me”. So if you hope to land that big contract or project, be trust-worthy!

Practicing good eye contact is a skill for effective and vitalcommunication and is mostly under-rated and under-utilized. Keeping eye contact with the person you are talking to indicates interest and saying to the person “You are important and I am listening”. It is one of the “unseen” tools used in any event communication.

To summarize:

·       The lowering of the eyes can convey guilt or submission.

·       Lack of confidence or apprehensiveness can be displayed when you don’t look into another person’s eye.

·       One tends to blink more if nervous or is trying to evaluate the other person.

·       If you look directly into the other person’s eye you are displaying self-assurance.

·       Wide open eyes show interest in the subject or person.

·       Looking directly upwards can indicate that you are thinking.

·       If you are irritated with a comment made by the other person during the conversation, a common movement is to take a quick glance sideways.

·       Staring at someone can be an aggressive gesture.

·       Eye contact is generally broken if someone feels insulted by another person’s comment.

We at Gracious Avatar help you in developing your personality which will not only help you in short term but will stay with you for long term.

Confidence is a feeling of certainly, firm, trust, belief and faith in oneself.

                                      

                                    

Confidence is a feeling of certainly, firm, trust, belief and faith in oneself.

Confidence has a common meaning of a certainty about handling something, such as work, family, social events, or relationships. Some have described confidence as a state of being certain either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective.

Confidence comes from a latin word fidere which means "to trust" therefore, having self-confidence is having trust in one's self.

                       8 Tips To Boost Your Confidence

      Certain Tips to Boost Your Confidence

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?

— Marianne Williamson

Self-confidence and the aura that comes with it can be a tricky beast to tame.

One negative thought can be enough to knock you back down to square one and have you feeling like crap if you’re not careful.

Take it from someone who knows. Someone who  grew up as a painfully shy kid; often believing he wasn’t as good or as deserving as everyone else. Aside from when with a select group of friends  his confidence was stuck at rock bottom.

With time even as you grow old you will struggle to relax and interact in social situations, feeling that  you are too boring and not interesting enough to contribute to the conversation.

You would fear that you be avoided or worse  laughed at.

Over the time you will realize that your lack of confidence was influencing the way you perceived not only yourself but also the situations you were in.

At Gracious Avatar we help you in boosting your confidence and will give yoyu certain tips that we ’ve found to be either surprisingly effective or reliably good at boosting  anyones confidence. Some can be done quickly, whilst others will require some consistent effort.

1.     Groom Yourself & Dress Nicely /Feel good to look good :

“You have no control over other people’s taste, so focus on staying true to your own.

— Tim Gunn

Have you ever noticed how throwing clothes on and running out the house can make you feel uncomfortable and self-conscious? It puts you on edge and makes you hyper-aware of your appearance. Stop doing it.

Take the time required to shower, shave (if necessary) and dress nicely for an instant confidence boost. If you look good, you will feel good and this will breed confidence and positivity when you’re out and about.

Besides you never know who you might bump into, so take the time you need before going out.

2.      Visualize Yourself Poised and confident :

“You can have anything you want if you are willing to give up the belief that you can’t have it.

— Dr. Robert Anthony

Activate that imagination muscle and visualize important meetings or events before they happen to increase confidence.

Try and visualize the event in as much detail as possible, think about what you’ll see, what you’ll hear and how you’ll feel. Focus on imagining how well things will go and how confident you will feel. By doing this you’ll find you not only feel more confident but you’ll behave more confidently too.

If when doing this, you have trouble seeing yourself as confident then imitating the confident actions of someone you know also work.

3.      Improve Your Posture :

“If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.

— T. Harv Eker

Posture plays a huge part in feeling and looking confident. Standing tall with your chest up and shoulders back scream confidence and can even trick you into feeling more confident too.

Practice standing up tall, with your chest up and shoulders back. Try to imagine a string coming out the top of your head pulling you into an upright position. This will help you look taller and broader whilst making you feel more confident and capable in the process.

4.      Think Positive To Kill Negative Thoughts

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.

— Brené Brown

If you’ve ever wanted to do something and had to fight the little voice saying, “no this is hard, let’s not do it” then you know what negative self-talk is. It’s the voice that tells you that you’re not good enough, that you should just stop now and choose the easier route.

As this voice or negative self-talk grows in confidence and strength you lose yours, it zaps your positivity and drags you down. Fortunately, the key to overcoming this is simple, you need to think positive. When the voice says “no” you say “yes”, you ignore the negative and dominate it with the positive.

How you want to do this exactly is up to you, you could imagine yourself crushing the negative thoughts, throwing them away or turning them into positive thoughts.

5.      Put In The Hours:

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it.

— J.M. Barrie

Doing something confidently is often about knowing something inside and out and being familiar with the action. Whether it’s public speaking, martial arts or something else entirely you need to know what you are doing and how to do it.

To be confident in something you must practice it. No one ever felt confident doing something for the first time, the tenth or even the hundredth time. For example; fighters shadow box, working on their moves over and over before they ever fight someone and public speakers practice in the mirror reading their speech until it’s perfect.

It comes down to this, practice increases your ability and ability breeds confidence.

6.     Fake It Until You Make It:

“Confidence is a habit that can be developed by acting as if you already had the confidence you desire to have.

— Brian Tracy

Whenever you find yourself out of your comfort zone whether by chance or choice, try faking it.

Think about how a confident person would act in that situation and do what they would do, you’ll be amazed at how soon you find yourself feeling confident and capable.

7.      Redefine Fear & Failure:

“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.

— Peter T. McIntyre

Your relationship with fear and failure can hold you back and cause your self-confidence to plummet.

To help prevent this you need to change the way you think about both fear and failure. Try to see fear as the opportunity to progress and failure as the chance to gather valuable feedback on what you need to work on.

By doing this fear and failure become tools for progression instead of reasons not to do something.

Another great tip is to try and adopt an abundance mentality and know that if something doesn’t go to plan that yes, you may feel like crap for a while but ultimately, it’s ok, you can learn from it and move forward stronger.

Doing this will remove some of the negative impact of fear and failure and help you retain your confidence.

8.      Rock A Power Pose

“If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.

— Thomas Alva Edison

Imagine if there was a pose you could hold for 2 minutes for an immediate boost in confidence. How would it feel to have that tool in your collection?

There are several poses that can be used make you look and feel more confident.

Give it a go…

To rapidly increase self-confidence at any time, adopt what’s known as a high-power pose by planting your feet shoulder width apart and stretching your arms up overhead in a V shape. Hold for 2 minutes and reap the rewards.

Bonus Tip - Smile

“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.

— Wayne Dyer

Ok so maybe this one is a bit of a cliché, but it really works.

You see us humans are social beings, we thrive on social interaction, specifically positive social interaction. It can make us feel happy, confident and contented.

Think about how your mood changes when someone smiles back at you, or even how it changes when you just crack a smile to yourself. Next time you feel low in confidence, try smiling.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s at yourself or someone else, you’ll soon be feeling better.

Confidence plays a vital role in your ability to achieve success and happiness in your professional and personal life. It affects almost everything you do from what you think, to what you say and even how you look.

                               

Using the tips in this post you can teach yourself how to be confident in almost any situation and start going after the things you want most in life.